20 April, 2012

 

Frank Tuesday #454



27 June, 2011

 
Well, BEN HUR(t) was an unqualified success. See pictures here. If anyone else has pics send me the link, and I'll post them.

24 June, 2011

 
One day until Ben Hur(t). The chariots are almost done, but I should finish them tonight. After the race, we'll have a bike-in movie. It's a lot like a drive-in, but no driving is allowed. Location TBA after the race. If you want refreshements, BYO.

What do you need to bring? Your bike, and a certain amount of lack of self-preservation. Helmet and gloves are recommended, but you're adults.

18 June, 2011

 

Frank Tuesday# MCMXVI: Ben-Hur(t)

Saturday June 25th,

9:30pm

Pfluger Bridge

The usual rules apply:

  1. Someone will get hurt.
  2. Someone's bike will break.
  3. No bitching.


We just finished testing the first two. Once we add the other two, we should be in for a world of fun




12 June, 2011

 

Coming Soon to Austin:

Chariot Racing: Late June

Surf and Turf: Late July


01 October, 2007

 
Frank Tuesday #3.14159265

Urban Cross TT & Ghettodrome

Sunday 7 October
6pm
Republic Square
4th and Guadalupe

My first event in a new city. We'll start the evening out with a short Cross TT through the heart of Austin. Less than 1 mile, expect pavement, pave, bricks, sand, homeless, traffic and stairs. I rode it in about 5min. We'll follow it up with the Ghettodrome: track racing in an alley, parking lot or other semi-open area.

Ride what you like- fixie, road, cross, mountain, bmx. Every bike will be disadvantaged at some point.

Prizes for first in each event and men's and women's overall.

Best of all, Frank is proud to put on all events at no cost to competitors.

01 January, 2007

 

02 March, 2006

 
Looks like I've got a couple things in the pot right now. I've had a change of heart. The mayhem and general disregard was fun for a while, but not for everyone, and they quit coming. So we're going back to the pre-chaos days, and we're just going to race. I'll have to wait until I get my school schedule for the summer, but I'm planning a 10 week, thursday night series. The details will come at a later date, but I'm thinking a 7pm departure from the same spot every week, race to start at 7.30. Different course every week, with prizes given out by a drawing. You get jack shit for winning, because this is about having fun.

I am able to announce the next event. The DirtyDozen. 12 steep and/or long climbs. That's it. Collect points for each hill, he who has the most points at the end wins. First Sunday in April. Exact time and place to be announced later.

Cheers,

Frank Tuesday
Minister of Chaos

19 February, 2006

 
So 20 bucks never happened. I suck. I've got a new plan and it is likely to be the most painful event yet. No fucking random chaos this time. It's time for the dirty dozen. 12 hills to make you cry uncle. You'll all be crying by the time we're done. Bawling like a bunch of fucking little babies, and I'll be crying right along side of you all. Look for it in Late March or April.

12 August, 2005

 
Fall is quick approaching and I've been thinking alot about the next event. More on that soon, but in the meantime, here's part 1 of the report from the last event.


Chariots of Fire
Pt. I

We all gathered, as usual at 75th St Brewery, but one that crappy band showed up it was obvious that it was time to leave. I know that it takes alot to get up on stage and play for strangers. I know because I've done it. I may have sucked, but never that bad. They took good Dave Mathews song and made them suck. They took boring Dave Mathews songs and made them worse. They took other peoples songs and made it sound like a shitty version of Dave Mathews doing crappy covers. I'm sure that he played some Coldplay and Jack Johnson, but it all sounded the same. Chord, chord, chord, strum, strum, strum. Let's mix it up a little next time.

So off we rode, it wasn't quite time to race, so we stopped in at another bar. We drank, we ate other peoples food, we left. Finally, it was time to race, though not the chariots. No, some of us decided to race cars away from stoplights. Nothing better than some rich kid getting beat of the line by a drunk cyclist. At last we pulled into the park, and there awaiting us were the chariots. Nate and Richie were first up, and Nate started pulling down the hill on a flyer going way too fast. I knew that this would be painful. They got to the first turn and sure enough, Richie can't keep the chariot on the pavement. He slides off the outside of the turn into the grass and next thing you know he's doing a belly flop onto the grass. He must have been 4 feet in the air. If you listened closely, you could hear the thud as he landed. If that weren't bad enough, the chariot was cartwheeling through the air, and landed smack in the middle of his back. To Richie's credit, he got right back up and he and Nate finished the lap. The time sucked, but most everyone elses did too.

We continued there for a while, but I may have overestimated the drunkards ability to the control the chariots. We had people going into trees, rolling through the grass, and on a couple of occasions coming dangerously close to headers with trashcans. It was, however, time to move on to the main event. While the previous had one chariot at a time on a tight circuit, this one was old fashioned side by side racing.

Four laps on a parking lot oval, four chariots side by side. There was plenty of room, but the whole shot would be a big advantage. If you could get in front by the first turn, you could avoid the inevitable carnage behind. Sure enough, race after race, the fight for the whole shot turned bloody. If you haven't guessed by now, the chariots were nothing more than modified shopping carts. We tore the baskets off and put on some seats. One person riding the cart being pulled by one person on a bike. Four laps is a lot, and to spice things up, we made the horse and the chariot switch places each lap. My brother and I took victory in the first race, but we had the immense advantage of practice. We knew exactly what the carts could do, and how hard we could push. It's amazing how fast you can actually go through the turns. Anyway, we took the lead into the second turn and slowly pulled away. No contest. The second race saw a great battle all the way to the end, but it was the third that made the evening news.

At the start, going into the first turn, all four chariots were still side by side. Someone hit a tree, someone lost thier rope and only one made it through cleanly. The race was far from over at that point. The team in second was almost half a lap behind, but was much better on the transitions. Each lap, they took more and more time back, and in the last turn made a bold move around the outside to take the victory by no more than a couple of feet. It was a hard fought and well deserved victory. Then the police showed up...

11 August, 2005

 
http://www.riechmichund.com/

He said vulva.

What else can I say.

10 August, 2005

 
An old race report. Few, if any of you bothered to show.....




Part I


Seems the combination of the weather and the proximity to Thanksgiving kept the field small. Haha. You'd already seen enough of your family for the weekend and the weather was perfect for riding.

Anyway, the race got off to a blistering pace, with Travis ordering a pitcher of margaritas. Not to be outdone, the latecomer Zeke, ordered a pitcher as well. Mike happened to be on the recieving end of the liquor, much to his pleasure. Finally Eric arrived with a Guinness, and Zeke, not to be outdone, counter attacked with a Guinness of his own. Just as it looked as if Zeke was taking control of the race, Travis snuck in for another round as Zeke readied his mount. This left us with Travis and Zeke tied for the lead, followed closely by Mike, with Eric a bit further back. Brian left round one with no points.

Then, in an incredible show of self restraint, The flow of alcohol stopped and the race moved outside and onto our race ready steeds. The race readiness would not last as Eric unleashed a topedo at the unsuspecting Travis. The bikes collided, but Travis was able to keep his composure and stayed upright. The ensuing melee reminded me much of the battle scenes in Top Gun, with the riders battling for superiority. Carelessly, Mike left his bike unattended on the ground, and it recieved a terrible beating at the hands of Eric, Travis and Brian for his trouble. The wise and thoughtful Zeke smartly kept his bike out of harms way until we departed. With his display of courage in the parking lot, Travis took a slight lead over Zeke, and Eric closed right in behind. Brian put some numbers on the board, but was unable to come to terms with Mike, who had a poor showing in the second round. The standing were as followed: Travis, Zeke, Eric, Mike and Brian. Finally, the five of us departed the Guac. We were sad. Up until now, no one had been on the ground. That would soon change...

To be continued...


Part II


I look to my left, a rider flies over his bars, twisting to and fro as he plummets to the ground below. Ouch. Nice one, Zeke. The others ride in circles, seemingly unconcerned about the condtion of their fallen comrade. Once it is apparent he is OK, we finally get around to checking on him. Prognosis: dropped chain. Easily fixed and we are on our way again. We dive into the drainage ditch, carving the turns and avoiding the pot holes. As we approach the end, Travis falls trying to get out. Mike and Eric are close behind and plow into him, leaving a tangled mess of man and machine, with Travis at the bottom lying in a puddle of sewer juice. We all struggle to get out, our cleats providing little traction on the steep, slick concrete. All but Brian score well on round three, leaving the standing the same, but Brian falling further behind.

The final round. It will take a miracle for Brian to pull through, but the rest are all close in points. Any one of them could come out of this as the champion. The race starts, and it soon becomes clear that it is a race for second. Eric has set a blistering pace, leaving the others fighting for scraps. With Eric out of sight, the rest decide it is better to stop the others from finishing rather than push too hard. It starts with a runaway bike down a steep hill. Mike is able to move at the last minute, but Travis took it square on the bars. The projectile was thrown into the woods leaving Brian to fetch it. The remainder of the three laps was an absolute war zone, complete with dogfights, ambush, bike theft and sabotage. How anyone came out alive and with their bike in once piece is beyond me. Eric took top points in the final round. He was able to get out ahead of the rest, and as a result, wasn't victimized by the rest. A fierce battle for second saw Mike just pip Brian to the line, with Zeke a minute back. Sadly, Travis was unable to finish the race. When asked later, he replied, "Anyone can finish. It takes real courage to quit." This hurt his point total, taking away a podium finish.

The points from all four rounds are totalled. Brian, with a poor showing in rounds one and three finished dead last. Travis gave up a good showing with his amazing display of courage in round four, ending in fourth place overall. Zeke had a good showing in the final round and was able to overhall Travis into third overall. With his fantastic second place in the final round, Mike jumped two places to second overall. Never far behind in the first three rounds Eric put on an incredible display of riding prowess to make the jump into first place. Congratulations, Eric. We made our way back to the Guac, but were unwilling to pay the cover charge. The awards presentation took place on a makeshift podium outside.

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